Menopause & Marriage: What No One Talks About

Menopause is one of the biggest transitions a woman will go through—but its impact on marriage and relationships is rarely discussed. While we often hear about hot flashes and mood swings, the emotional, physical, and hormonal shifts during this time can fundamentally change relationship dynamics.

Many women find themselves feeling more irritable, distant, or emotionally disconnected from their partners. Physical intimacy may become more challenging, and misunderstandings can start to pile up. At the same time, men often feel confused, unsure of how to support their partners through these changes.

The reality? Menopause can test even the strongest relationships. In fact, research suggests it may even contribute to an increase in midlife divorces. But here’s the good news—understanding what’s happening and taking proactive steps can strengthen your relationship, not break it.

In this post, we’ll uncover:
✅ How hormonal shifts impact relationships (progesterone, estrogen, testosterone, and oxytocin)
✅ Natural ways to support hormone balance to improve intimacy and connection
✅ Eye-opening statistics on menopause and divorce
✅ Practical strategies to strengthen your marriage during menopause

If you’re feeling the strain in your relationship—or just want to be prepared for this stage of life—you’re not alone. Let’s talk about what no one tells you about menopause and marriage.

Please share this post:

How Hormones Impact Romantic Relationships During Menopause

Progesterone Drop: Higher Stress and Less Emotional Resilience

Many people associate menopause with a drop in estrogen, but progesterone is often the first hormone to decline—sometimes a decade before menopause. This occurs during perimenopause, the transitional phase leading up to menopause.

Progesterone is known as the "calming hormone" because it helps regulate mood, promote relaxation, and support quality sleep. It is primarily produced after ovulation, so as women begin ovulating less frequently in their 40s, progesterone levels naturally decline first—long before estrogen takes a significant dip.

When progesterone drops:

• Stress levels may feel higher because progesterone balances cortisol (the stress hormone).

• Emotional resilience decreases, leading to more irritability and mood swings.

• Sleep disturbances become more common, making exhaustion and emotional sensitivity worse.

👉 Relationship Impact: Women may feel more easily overwhelmed, struggle with patience, and have difficulty managing conflict with their partner. Poor sleep can also contribute to heightened emotions and increased tension.

Estrogen Decline: Mood Swings, Irritability, and Emotional Distance

While progesterone starts declining in perimenopause, estrogen levels often remain stable at first, then fluctuate unpredictably before eventually dropping in menopause. Estrogen is crucial for mood regulation, emotional stability, and sexual health.

When estrogen levels drop:

• Mood swings, anxiety, and irritability become more frequent.

• Emotional sensitivity increases, which may lead to more frequent conflicts or feelings of emotional disconnection.

• Physical intimacy may suffer due to vaginal dryness, discomfort during sex, and reduced natural lubrication.

• Incidence of depression doubles during this time.

👉 Relationship Impact: Increased arguments, emotional withdrawal, and challenges in physical intimacy.

Testosterone Variations: Changes in Libido and Confidence

Though often considered a male hormone, testosterone is essential for women too, playing a key role in sexual desire, energy levels, and confidence. During menopause, testosterone levels typically reduce by about half but this can vary among women. Some may experience low testosterone, while others may have normal levels.

When testosterone levels decline:

• Lower sexual desire and decreased responsiveness to intimacy may occur.


• Reduced confidence and self-image, making women feel less attractive or desirable.


• Increased fatigue and reduced motivation, which can make physical intimacy feel like too much effort.


👉 Relationship Impact: Variations in testosterone levels can lead to changes in sexual intimacy, self-esteem, and emotional distance.

Oxytocin Reduction: Feeling Less Emotionally Connected

Oxytocin, known as the "love hormone," is responsible for bonding, trust, and emotional connection. It’s released during physical touch, hugs, sex, and even deep conversations. As estrogen declines, so can oxytocin levels, leading to:

• Less desire for physical closeness (even non-sexual touch like holding hands or cuddling).

• A decrease in emotional bonding and connection with a partner.

• Feelings of isolation or withdrawal, even in a long-term relationship.

👉 Relationship Impact: Reduced oxytocin can result in feeling disconnected, less affectionate, and emotionally distant from a partner.

Ways to Increase Oxytocin Naturally

1. Prioritize Physical Touch:

   • Hugging, cuddling, and even holding hands releases oxytocin.

   • Give and receive massages with your partner to encourage bonding.

2. Have More Face-to-Face Conversations:

   • Deep, meaningful conversations foster emotional connection and increase oxytocin.

   • Laughing together can also naturally raise oxytocin levels.

3. Spend Time with Loved Ones and Pets:

   • Petting a dog or cat releases oxytocin and reduces stress.

   • Socializing with close friends or family members has a similar effect.

4. Engage in Mindful Practices:

   • Meditation, gratitude journaling, and deep breathing can all help boost oxytocin levels.

5. Exercise Together:

   • Doing activities like yoga, dancing, or going for a walk with a partner can naturally increase oxytocin.

Ways to Increase Testosterone Naturally

1. Strength Training & Resistance Workouts:

   • Lifting weights or engaging in bodyweight exercises can stimulate testosterone production in women.

   • High-intensity interval training (HIIT) has also been shown to support healthy hormone levels.

2. Eat More Protein.

3. Get Enough Sleep:

   • Poor sleep reduces testosterone production, so aim for 7-9 hours of high-quality sleep.

4. Manage Stress Levels:

   • High cortisol (the stress hormone) suppresses testosterone production, so stress reduction techniques like meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can help.

5. Limit Sugar and Processed Foods:

   • Excess sugar can cause insulin resistance, which negatively affects testosterone production.

Menopause and Divorce: The Statistics

Menopause is a time of immense physical and emotional change, and for some couples, these challenges can create a strain that feels impossible to overcome. Research suggests menopause may play a significant role in midlife divorces:

• 73% of women in a survey by the Family Law Menopause Project and Newson Health Menopause Society said menopause contributed to their divorce. This was a 2022 study of over 1000 women who have been through both menopause and a divorce.

• About 2/3 of all divorces in the US are initiated by women (Rosenfield, 2018)

• A study from AARP found that 66% of divorces after age 40 are initiated by women, many citing emotional changes and relationship dissatisfaction as factors. This was a 2004 study of over 1000 people who had at least one divorce between the ages of 40 and 70.

💬 Want to dive deeper into how menopause can affect relationships and divorce? I had the pleasure of discussing this topic on The Awakening Show with hosts Divorce Coach Tina Huggins and Relationship Coach Matthew Hoffman. We explored the emotional and hormonal shifts that can lead to relationship struggles—and more importantly, what women (and their partners) can do to navigate this stage of life with understanding and connection.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here:

How to Strengthen Your Relationship During Menopause

1. Communicate Openly About Changes

Menopause can feel isolating, but sharing what you’re experiencing with your partner can make a huge difference. Help them understand it’s not about them—it’s about your body adjusting to new hormone levels.

2. Prioritize Physical and Emotional Intimacy

• If vaginal dryness or discomfort is an issue, consider lubricants or vaginal estrogen therapy. 40-50% of postmenopausal women experience vaginal dryness and/or pain, but only about 10-20% seek treakment. This symptom is often part of Genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM) that includes urinary and vaginal symptoms of menopause.


• Non-sexual touch—like hugs, cuddling, and hand-holding—can boost oxytocin levels and rebuild emotional closeness.

• Talk about new ways to stay intimate and connected that work for both of you.

3. Manage Stress Together

Since progesterone and estrogen drops increase stress, find ways to manage stress as a couple:

• Try relaxation techniques together, like meditation or yoga.

• Go for walks or engage in physical activities that you both enjoy.

4. Seek Support (Individually or as a Couple)

• A therapist or menopause coach can help navigate emotional challenges.

• Consider joining a support group for women in menopause—connecting with others going through the same thing can be validating.

• Encourage your partner to educate themselves on menopause, so they can be more understanding and supportive.

Take the Next Step: Watch the Free Metabolism Makeover Video

Menopause changes everything—your hormones, metabolism, energy, and even your relationships. The good news? You can take control of your health and feel amazing again.

💡 Ready to balance your hormones and reclaim your vitality? Watch my Free Metabolism Makeover Video to learn how to reset your metabolism and feel your best.

👉 Click here to watch the video – it’s free, and it’s your first step toward a healthier you!

References

Davis, S. R., & Wahlin-Jacobsen, S. (2015). Testosterone in Women—The Clinical Significance of a Controversial Hormone. Frontiers in Hormone Research.

Dennerstein, L., et al. (2004). Sexual Function, Satisfaction, and Midlife Women: The Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation (SWAN). Journal of Women’s Health.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/menopause-and-mental-health

https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/dont-ignore-vaginal-dryness-and-pain

Leiblum S, Bachmann G, Kemmann E, Colburn D, Swartzman L. Vaginal atrophy in the postmenopausal woman. The importance of sexual activity and hormones. JAMA. 1983 Apr 22-29;249(16):2195-8. PMID: 6834616.

Montenegro, Xenia P. The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond. Washington, DC: AARP Research, May 2004

Newson Health Menopause Society. (2022). Menopause and Divorce: Understanding the Connection. Family Law Menopause Project Survey.

Quintana, Bernt D. Glaser, Heemin Kang, Emilie S.M. Kildal, Kristin Audunsdottir, Alina M. Sartorius, Claudia Barth, The interplay of oxytocin and sex hormones, Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, Volume 163, 2024,105765, ISSN 0149-7634, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2024.105765.

Rosenfeld, Michael J.. “Who Wants the Breakup? Gender and Breakup in Heterosexual Couples.” (2018).

Santoro, N., & Randolph, J. F. (2011). Reproductive Hormones and the Menopause Transition. Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America.

Shifren, J. L., & Gass, M. L. (2014). The North American Menopause Society Recommendations on Sexual Health in Midlife Women. Menopause Journal.